The Ties That Bind

…what matters in community building…

One of my most salient memories from college was a class discussion in a Women's Studies 101 class where the professor started the conversation with, "What is the core of all injustice?"

As a young, Black American, first-generation college student taking her first Women's Studies course to count toward her major, I felt like my answer could have been a myriad of things: racism, sexism, economic inequality.  I remember listening to several of the women in my class share their thoughts- and of course many said gender inequality given that we were in a women's studies class.  It was during this discussion that I discovered the complexity of my intersectionality and how, for me, no ONE answer is the right or wrong answer.

This conversation served as the catalyst for a series of thought processes and decisions that eventually influenced my personal growth.  I began to think critically about my connection to folks around me, and I began to ask myself a very important question: when it comes to building relationships, what really matters?

If you've attended college or been to a college campus, you've probably observed groups and clusters of students walking together, sitting together, and engaging in conversations.  Have you ever wondered what their connection is?  Do they attend the same class?  Are they old friends from high school?  Do they belong to the same sorority, fraternity, or social group? Subsequently, is their common thread as important as the community they’re building?

Growing up, I felt like I was always funneled into spaces with other black people.  And though those spaces have been fruitful and empowering, racism isn't the only core of all injustices for me.  In college, I joined a sorority with women who I felt held the same core beliefs as I did; but I didn't isolate myself from other spaces that were inclusive of women and men.   I also consider myself an artist; I write, did community theater, and danced in a college dance troupe. 

I said all of that to say this: what really matters? What are the ties that truly bind us together in the spirit of community and uplift?  Does the core of our personal injustices shape the communities we thrive in and the ones we don't? Is Race, Culture, Religion, Gender, and Economic Status a deciding factor in the relationships we build?

I don't think so.  I have always yearned for creative spaces where women of color who experience similar intersections as I do can come together to uplift, empower, and support one another.  I love my people.  But of equal importance, I love… people.  And being in a space with other people regardless of race, culture, religion, background, or lifestyle brings about many opportunities to learn, grow, and see the world through different eyes.  Ultimately, where I live and thrive is my choice.  What matters to me is my choice.  Faith, love, perseverance, hope, empowerment and service are as important to me as being black and being a woman. 

When I’m building relationships, I like to think as the Beatles famously expressed…

Love is all we need.